I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
