But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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