It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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