I wanna passion pit in your ass
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
