she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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