The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
