i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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