last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
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He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
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I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.