I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
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Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
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We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack