Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Um, that's called prostitution

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Um, that's called prostitution (773): Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money http://tfl.nu/jjue
  Replies (4) Good night (2599) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  dude, osama threatened the US again

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  dude. i slept with your sister last night

  (847): View more from Illinois

  what?

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): dude, osama threatened the US again (1-847): dude. i slept with your sister last night (847): what? (1-847) I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news http://tfl.nu/r4dc
  Replies (26) Good night (5096) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened. http://tfl.nu/9qga
  Replies (16) Good night (948) Bad night (4475)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you. http://tfl.nu/8wpn
  Replies (7) Good night (1059) Bad night (3265) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife. http://tfl.nu/c5bq
  Replies (36) Good night (9647) Bad night (695) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night. http://tfl.nu/ytoh
  Replies (8) Good night (3811) Bad night (624) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant. http://tfl.nu/boqw
  Replies (11) Good night (4012) Bad night (713) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously. http://tfl.nu/6j29
  Replies (3) Good night (1724) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar.. http://tfl.nu/fcka
  Replies (0) Good night (1246) Bad night (658) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/grbq
  Replies (8) Good night (4207) Bad night (739) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies. http://tfl.nu/9bz2
  Replies (4) Good night (794) Bad night (434) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  That would make regret #10

  (646): View more from New York

  He was more like the original regret

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): That would make regret #10 (646): He was more like the original regret http://tfl.nu/dmkl
  Replies (5) Good night (495) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit. http://tfl.nu/w0fz
  Replies (7) Good night (1580) Bad night (254) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame. http://tfl.nu/nf1o
  Replies (3) Good night (229) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night. http://tfl.nu/jb56
  Replies (2) Good night (614) Bad night (129)

Randomize