i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize