ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
