I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night