he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind