is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?