Can i not drive my cunt home
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs