Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
