The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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