We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
