Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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