it hurts more in the daytime
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
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sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
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We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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