doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize