Midget sex pt 2 tonight
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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