I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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