Your dad touched me again.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
