he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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