You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
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He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
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I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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