cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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