i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
