i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
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Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
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You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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