I want to walk on stilts...naked
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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