At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
