we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
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I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
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i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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