I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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