New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
