One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
