Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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