roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
