i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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