thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
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Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
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I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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