I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
