we're blogging at a bar
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
