We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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