Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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