If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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