um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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