he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
