All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
one might say we're banned from that church
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.