it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it