are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.