it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
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I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
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Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry