I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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