She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he puts the penis in happiness.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
