can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
