But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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