When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
