i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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