There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
